Friday, November 7, 2014

The Future is Here and I'm Feeling Good.




It’s been a while since I've written to my many friends with an update of my recovery and progress. Come November, 2014, I’ll be celebrating my three year anniversary of being cancer free! Those that know my situation remember I was in rough shape for nearly two years. For these last few years I have been recovering from the damage the disease and the chemo caused to my body. I received all of my cancer treatment at John H. Stroger County hospital in Chicago, IL.

In 2012, I moved from Chicago to a small town in central Illinois to take advantage of an excellent cancer care facility they had there. My condition continued to be monitored by doctors as I began the long process of physical rehabilitation. When I began the physical rehabilitation I walked with the use of a cane. I also sported a neck brace to hold my head up. Through the months I began to heal and no longer needed a cane or any other hardware to stand or walk.This whole ordeal with getting cancer and then fighting for my life were no part of my plans for living! As most of you may recall, prior to my illness I had come out of hibernation from a long break concerning the work I had done in the past to help expose the true nature of Scientology in its many and various forms.

I started this blog in March of 2011, and used it as a vehicle to inform and communicate with others who were interested in finding out more about the subject of Scientology and the people involved with it. Back then the big news was all about Marty Rathbun and Mike Rinder. Both were top executives in Scientology and both had control over the Scientology Office of Special Affairs, which in effect was a “Hit Squad” for dead L Ron. Marty was the more vocal between the two and he had his own Blog going.  I was happy for Marty and Mike for getting themselves out of the cult but their activities that followed were disturbing to some people. For a while there Marty had set himself up as the new Scientology Standard Tech Guru and he was going to show everyone how things are suppose to be done in auditing. For some reason this had a profound effect on my attitude and I started writing about it.

I went on to write about and expose information of Scientology’s bag of crooks they call Office of Special Affairs (OSA). I wrote specific information concerning criminal activities perpetrated by Marty and Mike while they managed OSA. It really bothered me that seemingly, they had escaped the cult only to then turn around and financially and mentally exploit others who were leaving the cult. Marty was offering his version of Scientology auditing and training that he figured was the way dead L Ron intended it.

I wrote extensively about my involvement in legal cases against the various Scientology mock religious institutions. I also explained what happened to the Lisa McPherson trust and what happened with Bob Minton and Stacy Brooks. The information provided on this Blog was well received. To date I have had over 40 thousand page views. I haven’t posted anything on my Blog since 2013 even so last month I had just over 1000 page views.

Anyway, before I got ill, I promised to write about the last four years of now dead L Ron’s life but because of my illness I was unable to. I was forced to concentrate exclusively on my health in order to survive.  As a result many people have been waiting for me to finish ever since.

I remember being at the 2010 Scientology Symposium conference in Hamburg, Germany when the question was posed by people who identified themselves as Anonymous. They wanted to know how should they to accept and work with these two high powered defectors when they were still loyal to L Ron.  I opined to the members of Anonymous that it would be wise to give Marty and Mike a little more time to sort their heads out before challenging them too hard. I correctly predicted that it would only take a couple of years before Marty and Mike would wake up and realize the true danger to society Scientology really is. I can’t tell you how good it made me feel recently; when I heard that Marty wrote his Blog was no longer a cult promotion site! Both Marty and Mike have honestly opened themselves up and are purging the poison that is Scientology out of their hearts and minds. God knows I had to get through that as have many others before me. The purging of the contamination from Scientology takes time and a willingness to honestly get through the mental and physical effects from decades of believing in; fighting for the lies and false information inherent in every aspect of Scientology, in its entire legion forms. 

During my recovery and rehabilitation, I used the time to dig deeper into the subject of L Ron and his machinations Dianetics and Scientology.  In late 1998, after I got together with Bob Minton and Stacy; I began to read the forbidden books about Scientology. I started with a book by Steve Hassan titled; “Releasing The Bonds.” The truth is that book scared the hell out of me and I couldn't read it without experiencing extreme anxiety; which I choose to hide so I could deal with it later, privately.

I had attempted to read other books critical of Scientology, but more often than not this always ended in a frustrating mess. I don’t know the words to use to easily describe the physical and mental revulsion I would suffer trying to read these books. The information was so contrary to everything I had studied and aligned myself with for the previous decade or so. Mental health professionals have a term they used to describe what I was going through called Cognitive Dissonance. This was the first time I’d been introduced to anything that seemed to diagnose my condition.  Here is a decent link that describes and explains what Cognitive Dissonance is:


The truth is by today’s and yesterdays standards; I, along with many others were willing slaves for dead L Ron and his ideals from 1976-1992. I had no idea this was the case as it was happening either.  I honestly believed in L Ron’s new Technology; accepted it as a new Science of the human mind. I spent over a decade studying and training to apply the Tech as L Ron instructed. I went on to use that Technology on other people and I watched them get better or heard them say they were better. I made the Tech work for years and trained others to use the Tech. The amount of material I had studied over the years seemed official if only because of the volume of the material alone. The training was arduous and each training level has its own certification. I had trained and completed internships for each of my classifications starting before zero classification. I became trained and fully certified to Class 9 Auditor and Case Supervisor. Just to put this in prospective for the uninitiated who choose to forgo all of the brainwashing, followed by a severe case of misplaced devotion.  To this day, there are only 3 levels above class 9 classification.  I was a believer with conviction and purpose to the precious Scientology Tech and I believed the Tech could help people. I spent a few years at the Mecca for Scientology Technology (The Flag Land Base). There, I would train and intern others from around the globe. My reputation for getting results with the tech preceded me in Scientology heaven.  I was selected and offered to dead L Ron as the new Tech Terminator in 1982. However, that is not the history I am trying to tell right now.  My point is this; I was so full of the poison that is Scientology that it took me 6 years to even speak the subject after I finally departed 31 Oct, 1992.

Analytically, I’d come to accept the fact that most of what I was taught and held dear in Scientology was bullshit and served no purpose; plain and simple. This part is not about why I renounced L Ron’s devilish ass; excuse me, I meant to say why I renounced Scientology. That is another subject that will be fully written about soon. I hadn't predicted, so was completely blind-sided by the physical and subconscious reactions I would experience when I would act contrary to my altruistic  devotion to Scientology as a member at the top of its leadership pile.  Early on, I would break out in Hives, experience a panic attack, or otherwise become extremely uncomfortable and agitated without obvious cause or reason when I would be near a Scientology building or if I read material critical of Scientology. This was back in 1998 and 1999 and is not the situation today.

 

To my benefit I was introduced to Margaret Singer; a clinical psychologist and anti cultist by Lawrence Wollershiem. I appeared as an expert witness in Lawrence’s legal case against various Scientology entities. Contrary to my Scientology indoctrination, I had many personal conversations with the late doctor Singer. As a human, age and health wise, she was towards the end of her road when I came into her life. She complained of feeling weak often and she knew her time was short. Margaret was fascinated by talking with me, I guess because I was still so odd and available to her thanks to Bob Minton. Cell phones were new and very expensive to use back in 1998/1999. I used my phone to talk with Margaret often. She let me challenge what she thought she knew and I opened up to her. I learned to appreciate the wisdom Margaret was able to share with me. I felt like she was a mother type to me. She made me feel safe as I continued to gather my mind and my life after Scientology. I had her private number and I would call her when I needed to. How often? As I said it was expensive to talk on a cell phone back then and I remember sometimes paying over $1,000 a month for my cell phone service. She really helped me. Only now do I realize back then how I was not able to read information critical of Scientology.  Margaret took the time and verbally talked me through my issues like a mom would do with a child. I got better and life continued.

 

 It’s not like I was at a resort taking my time to recovering while dealing with my “Cognitive Dissonance.”  Hell no; all the while I had to make appearances in multiple court cases as a Scientology Expert and be endlessly deposed by Scientology lawyers. Looking back on it now, that had to be one of the easiest job I ever had in my life and I enjoyed doing it. All I had to do is stop lying for Scientology. The alternative was too easy to do, just tell the truth! Sometimes people get caught up in lies they have told because they can’t remember what the lie was, what they actually remember is the truth. Sorry for going on here my, point is this; it is difficult to do a 180 degree turn around in your thinking and be sane after undergoing years of false indoctrination.  I hear about and appreciate Mike and Marty for having the courage to publicly purge themselves of Scientology lies and secrets. Doing that is nowhere near as easy as it should be.

 

Back to more recent times; by 2012, I had made good progress with my physical recovery. I was able to walk over a mile at a time.  I was doing rehab in a huge warm swimming pool at the local YMCA. I stayed in that small town for as long as I could. It didn't take long before I began to realize I didn't belong where I was. So where should I go? Irony, in 1976, I lived in this same small town when I relocated to California. In June of 2014, history did repeat….some cosmic reset button got pushed and now I live here in Los Angeles again!

 

Here in LA, my options for physical therapy went from coach to first class. Without going there, I can just say I’m fine.

 

While getting myself situated here in LA, to pass time I went back and read the books that I tried to read before but was unable to. I took my time and read “A Piece of Blue Sky” for the third time by John Attack.  That book is my all time favorite as far as being the easiest to read. I've had all versions of that book at my disposal at various times. I also read a thesis from professor and author Huge B. Urban concerning the satanic roots of Scientology. Huge also wrote a book titled “The Church of Scientology, A History of A New Religion” which I found informative; enjoyed reading it. There are some boring parts but it’s worth digging through for the diamonds in the content of his work. I also for the first time seriously read the book “Bare-Faced Messiah” The True Story of L Ron Hubbard. Because I was aware of some of the legal and intelligence based projects being employed to prevent the book’s publication.  Reading it without the distraction of any Cognitive Dissonance was good and not just for me either. My partner told me Marty Rathbun had written something on his blog about his early experiences with the Russell Miller book. Both Jon Attacks book; “A Piece of Blue Sky” and Russell Millers “Bare-Faced Messiah is excellently verified and well documented works.  Both are a must read for anyone attempting to understand the true early beginning of Dianetics and Scientology.

I began to recall being on the other side of the fence when Gerry Armstrong had to defend himself against Scientology style black ops for years.  Scientology sued Jerry for absconding with 22 banker boxes of personal documents and artifacts of L Ron Hubbard. I’m not trying to retell the story of Jerry Armstrong here but ultimately, Scientology paid Jerry a settlement of $800.000 in exchange for his promise not to copy or discloses the content of the banker boxes he’d taken. What the hell was in those boxes? It’s a fascinating, well documented cock up of what happened when author Omar Garrison and his research assistant  Gerry Armstrong verified L Ron’s actual education and military record history among other  subjects. In a nutshell, too much of the information they were able to factually verify of L Ron’s past was contemptuously contrary to the yarn L Ron spun for his devout adherents and any other ear that could hear. Gerry Armstrong went on to violate his agreement with Scientology hundreds of times and is still perused by Scientology’s attach dog legal machine. I know something about this because I was present and informed about Jerry’s legal troubles with Scientology as they was happening.  I recall being present when the conditions of the settlement agreement between Gerry Armstrong and Scientology (Which in effect included whatever was best for Author Services Inc, ASI) was negotiated.

From 1983 until the settlement in 1986, I would receive on a daily basis, usually sometime between 6-8 pm, intelligence reports  generated by staff of Special Project Operations (ASI), OSA and RTC concerning secret and illegal operations by Scientology against Jerry, his lawyer Michael Flynn, and other plaintiffs represented by Michael Flynn’s firm.  The operations against Jerry’s lawyer included having knowledge of someone putting water in the gas tank of an airplane piloted by Michael Flynn with his son on board. There was instant access into the lives of people who were deemed enemy’s Scientology through well paid and placed private investigators.  These professionals sold their services to their Scientology paymasters because they had the latest modern bugging technology that was confirmed US CIA grade technology. Scientology was able to buy the services of ex-police, ex-FBI and other agency. Phone records were a fruitful source of information. Through illegally obtaining phone records Scientology always seemed to be a step ahead of their perceived enemies.  ASI lead attorney was Earle Cooley. A big part of his job as legal council was to made sure we rode a fine line to separate church principles from the illegal activities sanctioned by the same principles.

There were years of board room meeting at ASI to figure out how to get rid of Jerry Armstrong, L Ron junior, David Mayo and a few other people who had devoted their lives in servitude to L Ron and his grand ideas. All of these devoted people turned out to be Suppressive Persons all along according to the instructions from L Ron via his publishing organization ASI. It was new management’s job to hunt them down and get them put in jail. Some may recall during the early to mid 1980’s L Ron got a bug up his ass and thought he had the power to have people criminally prosecuted for disobeying or being out of step with what he wanted. This is way past just having a stick up your ass, he really wanted this done and some people did get set up and went to jail.  It was required protocol to hate and contribute to the destruction of men and women that I had never met or laid eyes on. We would be sitting in the board room at L Ron’s Author Services organization reading advice's from L Ron calling for the heads of staff he felt offended him somehow. Listening to Miscavige and other staff figuring out ever clever ways to get rid of the people who were aggravating poor L Ron. As we sat there making up plans to attach the very same people who were at L Ron’s side doing everything in their power to do his will. L Ron never wavered when it came to annihilating the oldest and closest devote adherents he had. There is no retirement in the business of Scientology. Ron taught his prodigy to quickly and quietly get rid of the most loyal staff members without remorse.

There were banker boxes full of “advises” from L Ron spewing hate filled vitriol about Jerry. The information that Jerry provided to Russell Miller and Jon Attack about L Ron’s actual history did in fact exposed his underbelly and pulled back the curtains on his imaginary life he expected others to believe.

During the negotiations to settle with Jerry Armstrong the settlement was intentionally construed to make it too easy for anyone to claim Jerry had violated his agreement with Scientology. Those who were present knew this settlement, that still plagues Jerry today was not done in good faith. The actual intent of the settlement was to cause Jerry to be incarcerated for violation of his settlement agreement and that is exactly what has happened. The other factor is this; Jerry didn't want to take any of Scientology’s money and he didn't want to settle. He was in effect forced to settle by his own lawyer Michael Flynn. Michael Flynn and his whole family had been hounded by Scientology hired thugs and they were tired of it. Flynn was also the attorney of record for other ex-Scientologist in a civil class action lawsuit….you get the idea. We had them right where we wanted. Each person received a settlement but Jerry was the only hold out. We even knew about the deteriorating relationship between Jerry Armstrong and lawyer Michael Flynn because we were the ones causing the confusion. In the end Jerry was forced to settle or be attached by his own attorney who wanted out and had been working on contingency anyway. There are standard legal agreements a plaintiff makes with a lawyer who takes on a case on contingency. The rule and agreement that comes into play is the plaintiff will agree to settle the case if there a reasonable offer on the table. Jerry was obligated to accept the settlement. Someone can say that better than me but you get the idea, Jerry was forced to settle, then he was set up to violate the settlement whereby Scientology would recover its money times three and if possible get him arrested and put in jail.
After years of acting like I hated people I’d never met or seen with my eyes like Jerry Armstrong took some getting use to. Getting Jerry had been en grained in my mind. Even after being out of the cult for some years. I remember the first time I talked with Jerry years after I had left the cult. On a physical level I felt uncomfortable being around him or even engaging in personal or meaningful conversation. On a certain level I was afraid of Jerry and this made no sense. None of that changed the facts of how all of this made me feel emotionally. In L Ron’s alternative reality, it was considered a flaw to openly show or express emotion or empathy. We were all just ever replaceable characters in L Ron’s movie. Suffice to say I didn't foster or encourage a speaking relationship with Jerry because I didn't want to. The problem is this is how Scientology technology is designed to protect itself in the minds of its own.

Long before I testified in a court of law as an expert witness, Jerry had already been there doing that, the same as I would do later. The real truth is when I met Jerry I had not entirely overcome the misconceptions and false information I’d learned about him through the years. I was dismissive of Jerry and didn't fully appreciate, let alone realize the personal sacrifice and contribution he made when he exposed L Ron for being the lying ass clown he was.

It was only after reading the Russell Miller book with fresh eyes that I finally better understanding and more fully appreciated the work Jerry did.  Since I've read the books again with fresh eyes so much has changed. I know I was Jerry when I woke up from the spell and stopped lying for and protecting Scientology. That meant it was my turn to be persecuted by juvenile intelligence tactics, endlessly financed on behalf of dead L Ron. These days both Marty Rathbun and Mike Rinder are Jerry too! No one owes or is obligated to me for anything and ultimately it may not matter what I think but I will say this. I don’t monitor Scientology activities anymore like I use to. That being said, It sure does make me smile when someone sends me something about Mike Rinder speaking out. He’s even been known to refer to Scientology as a cult. This is the guy who was the public face of Scientology for years!  My heart goes out to him and his new family. These days Mike doesn’t mince words when tells people about Scientology, what a turnaround bless him. Marty Rathbun is probably the most knowledgeable person in existence when it comes to how Scientology plays ball in a law suit. From what I can tell he and his wife are progressing excellently with their lawsuit against Scientology, you have my blessing for that.

Now here is the finale subject of this message right here. Hate to keep bringing this up or saying anything about it but here I go.

It wasn't until June of 2011 when I was finally diagnosed with non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma cancer and it had progressed to stage 4. In a matter of days I was completely incapacitated and couldn't stand on my feet.  Sometime, during the first few days of being admitted, I had a strange death experience, which I've written about before so I won’t elaborate on it again now. The effects of that time of my life stay with me on a daily basis.

When I went into the hospital, I think I told Tory about it and she informed my friends and family on the internet. At some point people held candlelight vigils for me and there was a lot of focused attention on me specifically to get better. In the beginning it was so horrible with the chemo and other drugs I had to take. My body felt like it was being turned inside out. There was a new energy present for me during those times that I came to recognize and get comfort from. Then I was able to sit in a chair and operate my computer for maybe 10 minutes for the day, I would see all of these messages from people that I knew and many of whom I didn't know all wishing me well. I can’t tell you how wonderful that would make me feel to know I was loved and people were sending me prayers and well wishes. Some days it seemed like I would feel the love. The energy from that went on for weeks and months. That in no small measure had everything to do with my recovery. I have now had 3 different Oncologist from 3 different cities, LA being the latest, tell me that my recovery is a miracle. When the first Oncologist said this to me I told her I thought it was because she recommended the right prescription for the chemo that got me well. She told me in most cases cancer can be successfully treated by identifying the person’s DNA and matching that to an existing treatment. My doctor told me there was no specific treatment based on my DNA. She confided in me later that because there was not chemical DNA match for my condition this lowered my chances of survival given I was already in stage 4. My Dr. told me plainly that it was not her who kept me alive. She said she thought I had a special friend in heaven looking out for me. She said it was not because of anything she had done. I took that as her way of being modest and thanked her all the same with flowers and a nice card.

My next Dr. in Decatur, Illinois confided in me after he had been monitoring me every 3 months told me he thought it was amazing that I made it through the treatment. He told me had he been the tending physician he would have given me 2 more chemo treatments just to be sure. I told him he would have killed me of left me crippled for the rest of my life. I told him I felt I was done after only 4 treatments but I did six anyway. There would hell to pay for all of the nerve damage chemo causes. I discarded his opinion and knew it was time for me to get a better doctor soon.

Since being in LA I have a new Oncologist, a nice Jewish lady. I had provided her with the permissions she needed to get my full medical records and she had this information before I saw her for my first appointment with her. She’s a really nice lady and after giving me a full examination gave me the good news that I’d gotten use to hearing. I was still cancer free after almost 3 years and I no longer needed to check in for a checkup every 3 months. Now I get my checkups every 6 months. She told me that I looked amazing and was blessed to still be among the living.

As time passed, I began to feel a little “churchy” about my recovery and began to wonder if there was some other factor besides Jesus or some other big spirit that helped me make it through my trouble.  These thoughts about my recovery would eventually find their way back to the philosophic question that opened the door for me to try something like Scientology in the first place. I wanted to know what I was and where I had come from before my present incarnation. Lawrence Wright documented in his book a conversation that I had with him before his book was published. I told Lawrence about a reoccurring experience I would have that defied conventional explanation. I told Lawrence as an adolescent while sleeping I would awake to find myself outside of my physical body. Sometimes I would wake up in a total paralysis unable to make my arms and legs move. Over time I became less afraid of these experiences, sometimes even looked forward to it because I was able to control the phenomena as I got older. I had come to the conclusion with myself only that I was more than a physical body and there were at least two separate and distinct aspects with being human.

 There was the physical part that everyone seemed to know and understand. Then there was this spiritual part that religion was supposes to be able to make sense of. I was raised a Catholic and the answers I had learned about the spirit from Catholicism was inadequate and not very practical at all. I felt unfulfilled because I hadn’t discovered a source that could explain to me what was happening to me and what I could or should do about it.

So on that fateful day in the spring of 1976, I was visiting Union Square in San Francisco, CA when a young and very attractive red haired smiling woman approached me and asked “Would you like to know more about yourself?”  It felt like she had read my mind. I told her maybe, but I wanted to know more about her. That same day, I started the communications course and we started dating. That’s how it all started with Scientology for me.

That was a long time ago and a different era. In these modern times Science seems to have gotten involved with examining this other spiritual side of the human experience and they call this new science Quantum Physics and Quantum Mechanics. I am by no means an expert nor am I qualified to instruct anyone about these two sciences so please don’t expect that here. There is a theory in these new sciences that acknowledge consciousness as something separate from the physical part of our being. It’s also acknowledged by these same sciences that thoughts can alter our perceived reality.
I read about one study where people decided to meditate in order to have an effect on the crime rate in Washington, DC. I have included an article about that here for anyone interested.


Now I said all of that to say that it is a possibility that I am well today in part because of the concentrated focus and attention of those on the internet at time of my illness. This is just a possibility and I don’t discount or disrespect Jesus or any other spirit who may have also been involved with my recovery, I’m grateful to still be around.
What’s next? I have to finish this writing project so that I can get on with the rest of my life. I am as convinced as ever there are people that want to know. What I am writing about is not more of the same as has been published by others. I am just at the end of writing about the last four years of L Ron’s life. When I complete this final part than my work will be done. Since being here in LA, I've had a chance to talk with others who are also out of the Scientology mindset I've discussed with some about what I am writing about. Invariably, I end up having a conversation with them about some things they didn't know about. That is not unusual in Scientology world; the right hand is not told what the left hand is doing.

I do want to make something perfectly clear here. I did not come back to LA to start a war with Scientology or any of its associate organizations. I am not here to organize protest against them either. The purpose of my writing is not to malign anyone still under the spell of Scientology.

I am simply writing my memories of the last four years of L Ron’s life from my prospective. I truly believe, what I have to say will clear the air of needless misconceptions about that time period. I don’t have an ax to grind with anyone but still some may not like what I have to say. My earlier writings on this Blog temporarily upset some people, but they got over it. I didn't lie or say something that was not true against anyone. I have a passion to always give the truth a chance no matter how unpopular that may be. I know that people are not perfect and they never will be. Everyone has made mistakes somewhere in their lives. My approach to making a mistake; fucking up or having any other behavior problem, is to admit the problem, and try not to do whatever it was again.  This seems to be the hardest thing for Scientology leadership to be able to do because that’s how L Ron trained them to act.

Scientology leadership from L Ron on down the line has a history of needlessly telling lies in order to deceive at random. That is not my opinion, it is their legacy.  People like David Miscavige pay huge sums of money to bullies and unethical lawyers to attach their own members. At least that is what they were doing it when I was there, and this is just part of what I am writing about. I know this sound odd but I think people would be attracted to Scientology even if it didn’t lie or misrepresent to the public what it can do.

I have gone back to look at some of the places where I use to live when I lived here as a Scientologist. On my way back to LA after visiting Joshua Tree, CA I drove past Golden Era Productions near Hemet.  The place was totally unrecognizable to me. The entrances and exits on both sides of the street were moved. I looks like they changed the landscape and you can’t see that ugly ass ship from the road anymore. The only building recognizable to me was the building that had the spa and hot springs in it. Of course now it looks so very strange. The windows and doors are all out of proportion and it looks like the whole building is just a facade. I found out they sold the property know as Happy Valley to the Soboba Indian tribe awhile ago.

Another time I drove around the big blue complex they have near Griffin Park. As I drove to the corner of L Ron Hubbard way and Sunset, I noticed three young men cleaning up leaves and such. What was odd is they jogged wherever they went, even tiny short distances. I immediately knew these guys were on the Scientology Rehabilitation Project Force (RPF). I slowed down and asked one of the men what he had done to be put on the RPF? He looked at me with a surprised look and his eyes darted to his companion who may have been the leader of this small group. He then politely called me sir and said I was mistaken because he was not in the RPF. Of course I knew this was a lie but I didn't hassle him about it. I remarked that he looked like to nice of a person to be on the RPF, and suggested that maybe he was a staff member of the Estates Organization. I could see he was wary of me but the easy out excuse I offered him seemed to calm him. I politely told him to carry on with his day to which he crisply replied Yes Sir! Maybe someday that young man will be free of the RPF and he will have an opportunity to enjoy his gift of life and not be subservient to a dead man if I can help it.

So I just want to thank you people out there for hanging in there with me on this project. There is no way I could do this by myself. There are some real Angels out there that have helped me every step of the way. I push myself daily to do something to get the writing part done, and then it has to go through the rest of the process to get published.  

If you are able to, help me get this project born. My goal is to have the work in the hands of a Publisher or an Agent before the end of this year. My email address is prince.jesse0007@gmail.com you can help by hitting this help link:


Also, if you know or have contact information for professionals in the publishing industry please send me an email at the above email address. For all other communications just use the same email address.
Thank you again, this is the final push. Keep watching.

Respectfully Submitted,

Jesse Prince

Sunday, March 31, 2013

LAWRENCE WRIGHT'S NEW BOOK





Going Clear

Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief by Lawrence Wright


Review and Commentary by Jesse Prince


Though difficult to believe I guess it’s been over two years since I first met Lawrence Wright. The details are hazy as to how I came to allow myself to be interviewed by him. As per standard usual, someone I’ve known and worked with in the past will insist that I talk with this person or that person and that’s usually how it starts. I am notorious for a few things, not doing interviews or associating myself with news and entertainment reporters is high on that list. My usual way of handling reporters who request an interview with me is to refer them to what I’ve already said or written before and politely disappear. I wasn’t always that way, not at first. I’ve involved myself with news and entertainment reporters for at least a decade. The finished report published from these interviews was invariably the same. The reporters would take my words, my story and convert it into their story or special interest they wanted to report on.

In the past I’ve interviewed with reporters who only wanted to talk about celebrities in Scientology or some recent high profile defector. An interview with Entertainment Tonight comes to mind. I sat with a reporter for hours talking about Nicole Kidman after Tom dumped her. Scientology lawyers threatened to sue and the segment was cancelled. I also interviewed with Der Spiegel in Germany in the late 90’s. I tried to explain to the reporter how Scientology uses its technology and policies to manipulate people, politicians, lawyers and judges alike, in an effort to subvert the system. When I finally read the article that came out I wondered whom they interviewed, someone had just made up a different story and published it instead. 

Just over two years ago, I decided to write my own story about my experiences and associations with Scientology. In this way there would be no interpretations or make nice alterations of what I have to say. 

I was rolling along pretty good, writing and freely publishing on the Internet via my blog Jesse’s Place the story I wanted people to know; but then I got very sick and nearly died.

This is the backdrop story of how and when I met Lawrence Wright. Someone strongly recommended that I read an article he had written in the New Yorker magazine. I remembered that article; it was painfully long, 26 pages in fact. There was an unusual quality about the writer’s presentation that held my full attention even through the pedantic parts.

I agreed to talk with Lawrence but this time I did something I had not done before. I looked him up on the Internet and I researched who he was and what were his credentials. My research on Larry revealed he is a Pulitzer Prize winning Author of The Looming Tower, a screenwriter, blah, blah, blah. What caught my attention was his involvement in performing and playing music. I learned that Lawrence was a keyboard player in a blues band in Austin, Texas. I have always been a deeply committed blues fan, especially rock style blues. One of my favorite Texas blues musicians is Johnny Winter whom I’ve listened to since the early 70’s. The other Texas blues superstar was Stevie Ray Vaughn. Both of these artists admit a major influence on their music came form the King of Texas style blues, Mr. Albert Collins. There are other places like Chicago and Memphis that have great blues history. Each of these great blues centers has a distinct sound that distinguishes it among its peers. Lawrence’s literary resume was impressive enough but the fact that he was a Blues man kicked him up a few hundred notches with me so I agreed to talk with him and eventually we met up in Chicago.

Lawrence informed me he would be in the Chicago area visiting family and he asked to visit with me. We agreed I’d meet him at his hotel; I was not ready to bring him home yet.

When I met with Lawrence he appeared to be somewhat shocked by my appearance. I could tell he was being polite about it but he was not prepared for what he saw. No picture of me from the past could have prepared him for what he saw in front of him. I was in the middle of my chemo treatments and my body was literally breaking down. My Oncologist explained to me that the bones in my neck and spine were more of the consistency of a hard cheese as opposed to bone. I could not support the weight of my upper body without assistance.  I had a metal cage type brace that started at my waistline and extended up my back and chest to my armpits.

 In addition, I had to wear a full neck brace to support my neck to hold my head up. I had lost over 40 lbs. and all of my hair everywhere. I had taken to habitually wearing a scarf to cover my baldhead to stay warm. I have always had thick coarse reddish hair but it was gone. My clothes were baggy, I had black circles under my eyes; I know I looked like shit and death was riding my ass real hard.  I felt like I existed by my will alone.

I had lost feelings on the right side of my body and had something called “Drop Foot” were I couldn’t flex my right foot up or down anymore. The cancer was attacking the nerves in my spine. To compensate I walked with a cane. So I come staggering in to see Lawrence with this unforgiving condition wearing plastic and metal apparatus just to get around, he was cool about it though. He asked me if he could record and videotape our meeting. In my heart I reluctantly agreed because it seemed apparent it was a good time to make and leave a record while I could.

I explained to Lawrence that I was there to help him in any way that I could but I cautioned him that the story he was engaged in about Scientology was his story. I informed him that I myself was working on a book to tell my story. I told him I did not want my story to become his story. In other words I would help him in anyway I could but he did not have permission to make my story his story.

That was the hard part. After that, we talked and he disarmed me faster than a drunken high school girl at the Prom after party.  I answered all of his questions plus some! I also asked him about his band and his interest in the blues. We talked as two blues aficionados would about the music. All to soon his time in Chicago was over and we promised to stay in touch, which we did.

Out of necessity, I went on to focus on my health and recovery full time. Occasionally over the months and years, Lawrence would call and ask me questions or he would ask for my opinion, which I always freely gave to him. I once again had to put my writing project on the shelf to deal with unexpected complications from my disease and it’s cure for a time.

Some months ago, Lawrence called me and left a message saying he had a question for me and asked that I call him back. It took some weeks for me to call him back, possibly longer. After we exchanged brief salutations I asked him about his band and if he had been performing recently.  He responded to my inquiry with a hardy chuckle. He told me about an incident that happened at a well know club in Austin, TX. The club was raided by the Feds, something about suspicion of drug trafficking.  I’m not entirely certain on the details but the point being, the judge who granted the search warrant on the club had a niece that was a fledgling musician that wanted to perform for the crowd.  Lawrence told me the club had sponsored a talent contest for young people and this young lady who was the niece of a federal judge was invited on stage to perform with Larry’s band. I know I ‘m making this sound complicated put its really not. Larry told me the warrant-issuing judge watched his niece perform on stage at the club with his band. A short time after, the Feds raided the club. Fortunately, Larry’s band was not there for all of that confusion. Now that’s the kind of story two blues aficionado’s could share and find infinitely amusing!

We had this conversation some time in December of 2012. Finally I got around to asking him about his book and when expected it to be published. He said right after the first of the year in 2013 the book was due to be released. He told me there were some complications with getting the book released in Canada and the UK, but he was pretty sure the book would be released after the first of the year 2013.  I told him I would look for it for sure. In closing, he remarked I think you will find a few things in the book that you didn’t know about. I chuckled and said okay we’ll see. I informed him that I no longer had to walk around with all the body armor anymore. I told him I didn’t even walk with a cane and I grew this huge Afro. He got a good laugh from that, again we promised to stay in touch.

Sometime towards the end of January, 2013 my brother Ron called and said there was a package for me that had been delivered to his address in Chicago. At the time I was visiting my elderly father in Memphis, TN. My father is the real Jesse Prince; I’m Jesse Prince Jr., a mere copy of the original. Within a matter of days I traveled on an Amtrak train from Memphis to Champaign, Ill. From there I drove to my brothers place in Chicago and picked up my complementary copy of Lawrence’s book, which his publisher graciously provided to me. Lawrence had really piqued my interest when he said there was information is his book that even I didn’t know.

The last book I’d read on the subject of Scientology was titled; Counterfeit Dreams by Jefferson Hawkins. Anything written by a person who was involved in the inner workings of the Sea Organization and no longer patronizes dead L Ron is as rare as hen’s teeth or honesty in any government in the world. I found Jeff’s account brutally honest and humbly forth coming. Maybe for the first time I better understood Jeff’s commitment to the application of marketing principles he strongly believed in and the brilliance of his ritual application of what he believed in. The results he was able to achieve can only be defined as a modern day, full display of Alchemy or ritual magic or a miracle. Through execution of ritual steps and his intent, Jeff was able to navigate Dianetics, The Modern Science of Mental Health back onto the New York Times Best Sellers list for weeks in a row. How can a long ago discredited pseudo science by a known Science Fiction writer and Flim Flan man, the late and very dead L Ron Hubbard be resurrected like that in these modern times? How do you explain that? Maybe it’s my use of the word ritual that may throw you off?

I’ve read other books written about Scientology but this one by Lawrence is different. Because of the shear amount of people interviewed he was able to add facts and bring clarity to many issues surrounding the past and recent history of L Ron Hubbard and his new religion.

Starting with the first chapter The Convert through to the second chapter Source.

The last place to go find out what is Scientology is a Scientology Organization! I’ve had plenty to say about L Ron in the past but I never accused him of things I was not personally aware of. I had never really read or heard anything about L Ron getting too loose with the ladies until I began to research his history for my writing. The information I was able to find was minimal or complete lies because the Scientology public relations machine authored it.

Before I read this book I thought L Ron was mild when it came to acting out sexually. I had only heard of one instance of his infatuation with one of his converts, Yvonne Gilliam. Come to find out, dead L Ron had a voracious appetite for young ladies. I also didn’t know his last wife who he abandoned; Mary Sue was 20 years younger than he was! 

I had no idea of the constant physical and mental abuse he inflicted on his multiple wives. The riveting tale of how Sara was finally able to escape from him with her child Alexis (pg. 75-78) mirrors what others have had to do to escape Scientology, it amounts to a prison break.

To read how L Ron punched Sara in the stomach to try and induce an abortion of their daughter Alexis doesn’t seem to be good conduct for a humanitarian. I also appreciated how Lawrence took the time to explain why Sara would hang on and try to help Ron through the abuse. The complexity of human nature is showcased through Lawrence’s revelations of the complex relationship between L Ron and Sara verses her maternal instincts. L Ron had issues with personal insecurities, and abandonment. Sara was a nurse by trade and felt obligated to support L Ron even though she knew he was insane.

L Ron’s military career has been written about by others and disputed by corporate Scientology since that conversation began. In my opinion Lawrence’s account of L Ron’s military record is completely unbiased and fair. His information about dead L Ron’s military record far exceeds anything I could find on the Internet. Lawrence’s account does fill in some gaps though.

I was also impressed by the way Lawrence chronicled L Ron’s progress and achievements as a writer. Opinions aside, L Ron was a prolific writer without equal to this day. The usefulness or validity of what he wrote can be argued and debated but the amount of writings he produced earned him a place in the Guinness Book of World Records, which speaks for itself. 

As a result of my own research on the genesis of Scientology, I’d come to the opinion; the premise of L Ron’s theories for Dianetics and Scientology was primarily derived from the works of Aleister Crowley, Madam Blavatsky, Albert Pike and Sigmund Freud. L Ron Jr. commented on his father’s fascination with Crowley; saying he even wanted to be him (pg.44). I appreciate Lawrence’s candid, unbiased interpretation and rendering of what he was able to discover about L Ron’s associations and participation in ritual magic and Lucifer worship. Finally I was shocked to learn about L Ron’s homosexual liaisons with the late Robert Heinlein. L Ron may have had a guilty conscious about his sexual activity with a man because he sure tried to put some distance between himself and gay sex through his strange books Dianetics and Science of Survival.

The next chapters, “Going Overboard through The Faith Factory” chronicles the genesis of the Sea Organization along with its original crew. Lawrence is able to bring insight and reason into the bizarre behavior of abuse and torture, which became a right of passage for any successful Sea Organization member. For a person who was never, and I’m pretty sure will never be a Sea Org member, Lawrence was able to understand the psychology of the unspeakable within the group; as arequirement to move up the ladder to Hubbard’s crows nest, an individual had to be willing to be severally abused and be willing to abuse, or tolerate the severe abuse of another or others. I refer to it as demon and zombie training. Later on in the book, the current leader of Scientology Miss Cabbage refers to the end result of this training as “Pie Face.”

I am not one to bite my tongue so I speak plainly and simply. It’s no secret that I do not like Mike Rinder and I don’t like hearing about him. That’s how I use to feel about him, I don’t feel that way anymore. Lawrence was able to disarm Mike and look inside of his pain and confusion to find a diamond of truth to explain the madness that is Scientology.  The reference to the “Pie Face” look reminds me of pictures of starving children who’s face lack any expression, or a child that has been abused and has no facial expression. It’s the same look of total defeat and hopelessness and it’s the look a person gets just before death. It’s the face of a human or animal for that matter who’s will has been overwhelmed and nearly destroyed.

I don’t wish that on anyone but this is the new “Technology” being created in Scientology by the new master David Miscavige.  If this isn’t Zombie training than what is?

I liked the way Lawrence told the story of how Scientology was able to antagonize some IRS officials into submission thus ending the Department of Justice criminal investigation. It was at this moment Scientology became too big to fail. Like it or not Scientology has a pretty impressive record with out smarting law enforcement here in America. They are able to do this because they hire former FBI and CIA agents to subvert the system. Scientology also pulls from its ass an impressive list of Hollywood Celebrities to do its bidding. Scientology has such deep pockets now it will always be around in some form or another here in America. It’s so crazy here in America that the law says corporations have rights like people. How can an individual person ever compete with a billion dollar corporation?

I realize a good percentage of information about the IRS, John Travolta and Tom Cruise came from Marty Rathbun. Only he would have the details as provided in this book.  I appreciate the fact that Marty decided to no longer keep all secrets for Tom and the rest.

Starting with the chapter, In Service to the Stars to the books conclusion; this is the most disturbing part of Lawrence’s book. Let me start with Tom Cruise. I met Tom at the Gold Base while he was in the middle of his divorce with Mimi Rodgers. This was when he was in production with the movie Day’s of Thunder.

When I met Tom he was genuinely shy, but once he got comfortable with you he was amazingly normal and playful. He seemed like a big playful kid. I spent hours in the Scientology Studio (Studio Two) with him listening to sections of his movies. Tom was unhappy with the sound because you couldn’t understand what he was saying in certain sections of the movies. Of course, Scientology had the answer; it was called “Clear Sound.” I’m not going to get into the whole story about that now but suffice to say Tom was a nice person who was very appreciative of any help or assistance he got to help him with the problem. He even offered to PAY us for our time. He would buy food and fruit baskets for the staff because he was not allowed to pay. He had that million-dollar smile and a trademark infectious laugh that made him a joy to be around.

Now look! Scientology takes perfectly good people and transforms them into monsters! The story of Tom’s transformation and subsequent demon training has changed him completely. Lawrence painfully chronicles Tom’s moral decent with his goody and vulgar awards he’s received for being a good bitch dog to David Miscavige.

While earning hundreds of millions of dollars, Tom now prefers free slave labor to cater to his every decadent need. The book also details how Tom is so socially inadequate he can’t even find a girlfriend with out Miscavige arranging him a date. I hate to go all vernacular on you but how fucking pathetic is that? Oh but Scientology has convinced Tom he is a communications genius!

Lawrence finally brings some truth to John Travolta and his gay tendencies. John is also a pathetic bitch dog to Miscavige. He uses his airplane to facilitate kidnapping staff who try to escape the cult. Both he and Tom are criminals against decency and humanity. Both are in a position to do great good for their fellow human. Instead they choose to join the small crowd of insecure people that have to have their foot on another’s neck. Evil sociopathic tendencies are developed and magnified in Scientology; Lawrence does a good job detailing how it happens.

Lawrence’s book makes it painfully clear that Scientology has a death grip on Hollywood and has for a long time.

Lawrence has done a great service to humanity by taking up the challenges this book obviously brings. He put himself in personal danger to bring the information in this book out in the open and available for those interested in the subject, and we all should be.

Lawrence even provides information about a United States President, Bill Clinton who was shilling for this crazy ass cult.

Scientology is all about deception and lies but there is some truth there. When something walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and swims like a duck, than it’s probably and duck.

The last revelation L Ron makes at his death (OT 8) besides being a total failure; he says he is the Satan of the bible. In his mind dead L Ron’s intent was to be a god and to enslave every man. At a conference in Hamburg, Germany someone who represented himself as Anonymous asked a question. The question was; can Scientology be reformed? My answer; reformed to what? Shit is shit no matter how many flowers or perfume or nice pictures someone may spray or lay on it. It’s still shit.

Thank you Lawrence for taking the time to produce this work, it was sorely needed.

Respectfully Submitted,
Jesse Prince